Last summer, at a yogafestival in France, I asked a 83-year old yoga master for a love advice. The answer I got – wait for 40 days before you fall in love – was unexpected and the best advice I could have received. The advice strongly contributed to the beautiful beginning I and Jakob got of our relationship.
I’ll take it from the beginning. The love stories of my life have been characterized by instantly falling in love with men, and without hesitation throwing myself into new relationships. A few times, I have been lucky, even really lucky. But, on other occasions it has led to minor disasters.
After a separation about one and a half years ago, I meditated on how to take control over my love life, and in a much more conscious way, choose a partner? This was also the question I asked the yoga master.
His answer surprised me: Wait for 40 days before you fall in love. How on earth is that going to happen? was my first reaction. How am I going to be able to control my feelings? I didn´t manage before. And there is a reason why it is called to “fall” in love.
But I decided to give it a go. Moreover I realized that I have already practiced the 40-day rule, on the yoga mat, with good results. I have experienced the power of doing a meditation or kriya for 40, 90 or 120 days, the power of consciously and resistantly implementing a change.
Within yoga we say that it takes …
- 40 days to break a negative habit
- 90 days to establish a new habit
- 120 days to confirm the new habit
- 1000 days to master the new habit
To me, these rules have been strongly linked to what I do on the yoga mat. But yoga is as much about our everyday actions.
A short time after, I met Jacob on a dating site. We found each other directly, but I had the old yoga master’s advice in my mind and waited 40 days before I allowed myself to fall in love, 40 days with intense messages between us.
When we finally met, after the 40 days, I felt calm and confident in that what we were developing together was right, and that feeling has lasted and been strengthened after 90 and 120 days. So now, we aim for 1000 days to master our love. 😊